Duck! Duck! Gay Duck!

I am wearing dress clothes and ten-year-old red Chuck Taylors.

Why?

A) I’m making a statement about global capitalism.
B) I’m saying something about my queer identity.
C) Science professors are funky.
D) WHERE THE HELL ARE MY BROWN WEDGES?!?

My daughter is jumping around the room yelling “Everyone get naked! Everyone get naked!!!1! Now fight!!”

Is she:

A) Explaining what she thinks needs to happen before she can go for a dip in the hotel pool
B) Explaining why lesbians shouldn’t have children
C) None of the above
D) All of the above

You are shopping with your daughter.  She sees plastic army men.  She proceeds to point at them and say, “Momma, those are the bad guys.”

Do you:

A) Loudly proclaim your hatred of Germans
B) Alert the nearest shopkeeper to the lost child.
C) Nod and say, “yes honey, that’s right.”
D) Buy an Orange Julius
E) All of the above